


Someone Real

by mamadeb



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 19:10:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamadeb/pseuds/mamadeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just want to take care of you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Real

"Do you even know how to use this kitchen of yours?" Mike watched Adam put Thai food into serving bowls to take out to his dining room.

Adam laughed. "I can use my microwave." He filled a tray and gestured for Mike to grab the wine bottle. "Other than that - I make a fabulous omelet and I can boil pasta."

"Neither of which you eat anymore." The dining room table was already set, complete with a collection of big candles in the center. "This looks nice." He poured wine into the glasses.

"Awww. Thank you, sweetie." Adam put out the serving dishes and took his place. "It's all for you. If you weren't here, I'd be eating straight out of the cartons. And you've been laying off the fat and carbs, too - you look good." He passed the rice and curry over.

Mike put a careful amount on his plate. "I gotta look good for my fans. All twelve of them." He smiled to show he was grateful for how ever many he got.

"You have more than that." If anything, Adam was even more careful. Mike hoped that leftover Thai food tasted good because there was going to be a lot of it. "I'm so glad you called, baby. I've been missing my Idol family something fierce."

"Not everyone wants to be a superstar. I'm making a real good living doing what I love, and that's just about all I can wish for." He took a bite. Like any real Cajun, Mike liked his food with a kick to it. This wasn't his usual style, but oh, his mouth sure was happy. Just because he wasn't used to it didn't mean it wasn't good - something he'd found true for a lot of things in the past couple of years. "You're not in touch with anyone else?"

"I'm not gonna complain, but superstar isn't all that…well." He added more food to his plate. "I am but I want to SEE people, and we're all scattered, doing things. Kris is back in Arkansas, writing, Alli's looking for a new label. Everyone else is making music someplace. My life…well. As I said, not complaining."

Mike knew about Adam's life. His brief romance with that European singer - no one Mike ever heard of before, but big there - made headlines when he came back to the States. Their break-up made more, even though Adam, as usual, said they'd be friends forever. He was renovating his new house. He was working on his second album non-stop so it could be out by summer. He was going to concerts, being seen on red carpets and performing on awards shows. Every week, his picture was in some gossip magazine or on some entertainment new show.

And as soon as Mike emailed him that he'd be in LA for a few days to do a corporate event, he'd insisted that Mike come over for dinner. Mike didn't understand why - Adam didn't have to be lonely for one moment. Even if he were between boyfriends (and Mike was still amazed that the idea of Adam and boyfriends felt perfectly normal and natural now - same as Matt and girlfriends), he had a million friends from before Idol who loved him and would do anything he asked. Even if he was trapped in his house, he could have all the company he wanted, turn it into a little club if he wanted.

But here he was, in a nice shirt and jeans, his hair clean and brushed but barely styled and only some left-over eyeliner for make-up. There were deep circles under his eyes. _Beautiful_ came that voice in his head, the one that got increasingly louder during the tour. "Are you sleeping at all, dude?"

"Not as much as I'd like. You know how it is - Idol second albums tend to flop." He actually took a bite of his food. "So I'm kinda worried."

Mike laughed. "Like that stuff even applies." Adam's face went blank. Mike's gut twisted. "What's really wrong?"

"I don't know." He pushed his hair out of his eyes. It fell back again, inky strands against his pale, freckled skin. "Everyone thinks…I AM happy. Like you, I'm making a living doing what I love - I'm entertaining people. And I do love the attention and the clothes and the photoshoots. So what if people think I'm a famewhore with a pretty voice who sings what he's told to sing? That I'm not a 'real musician?'" He put his glass down so hard the wine nearly sloshed out. "You know I sold a handful of songs? And not to friends, either. Well, they're friends now, but they weren't before. I could have a song I wrote for someone else on the radio in a month. And I'm going to produce a couple times for my album, to see if I can. This is MY career, and I'm in control. People have significant say, but I'm the final word." This time he just tossed his hair back and it stayed.

That was so much better - Adam was smiling now, and proud of himself, as he should be. Mike never doubted Adam was in control, either. Kris sang what they told him to sing; Mike and Danny were pushed to country music. Adam had his own rules. "Tell me about those songs, baby. The ones you sold."

"Only if you show me yours."

"I did get Carrie interested in one of them." Mike pulled out his notebook. "And Matty wants me to work on something with him - says I need to remember I'm an R&B guy for real."

"Matty's latest is doing so well! How IS he?"

Mike hadn't realized how long it had been since he'd had a chance to just talk about THEM - the ten of them with that strange bond from the mansion and the tour. He found himself more relaxed than he'd been in weeks by the time they took their coffee and ice cream to the living room, and Adam? Adam was nearly glowing with relief.

"I adore my friends and my band, you know? But most of them don't understand what Idol does."

"Yeah, I get that. No one to talk to, sometimes. And I really miss talking to you. No one listens like you do." Adam was doing it now, looking straight at Mike with those eyes of his, paying total attention to every word. It had been too intense at first, but by the time they all said good-bye, it was just what Adam DID. One of the things that Adam did, like fix buttons and be late and take forever at his hair and makeup and sing like an angel and not be able to spell but who you wanted when you had nightmares in your coffin bed on the bus, or when you just missed your wife and kids so much you had to cry on someone's shoulder - someone who didn't judge but who kept secrets. "And I'm guessing here that you wanted someone to listen to you."

"I wanted someone who understood at least a little. And, honestly, honey, I missed you and your open mind and heart."

"If only I was your type." Mike grinned at him.

"Yeah. Too manly and straight for me. More coffee?" Adam unfolded his long legs from the overstuffed chair and stood.

And the world shook. Hard. And the lights went out.

Adam grabbed Mike's hand and the next thing he knew, they were on the floor next to a wall, Adam's arms were wrapped around him, and everything was still. "What happened?"

"Earthquake. Are you all right, Michael?" Adam didn't even sound sarcastic. The light from an almost full moon shined through the big patio doors and reflected from Adam's face.

"That was the scariest thing I've been through, even more than Simon Cowell." He clung to Adam.

Adam's laugh rang out in the dark. "Simon is worse than any tremor. Are you hurt? I was pretty rough there."

Mike pulled back to look at him, his eyes adjusting to the moonlight. "I..yeah. I'm fine. Nothing hurts." He knew he should let go now, but he didn't want to, nor did he want to turn away from that face - a face he'd always known was good-looking but right now was unearthly in its beauty.

"Michael?"

"I…I…" Mike licked his lips. "I … you're…" He leaned forward and kissed Adam. Adam froze and pulled back, his eyes wide.

"Michael, what the…" He stopped and took a deep breath. "We were never in any danger, honey. I know you feel relieved, but we really are safe." Adam's voice was gentle, and he squeezed Mike's shoulder to reassure him.

Mike didn't want reassurance. "I kissed you because I wanted to. I've wanted to for a long time, but right now, you're just so…I'm sorry. You're gorgeous."

"Oh, God." He let go of Mike and leaned against the wall. "Don't do this to me, Sarver. I can't play these games anymore. I can't do this." There was something hopeless in his voice that Mike had never heard before.

"I'm not playing games." Mike sat next to him. "It's not the sort of thing I do." He thought maybe he could take Adam's hand but decided maybe it was not a good idea.

"Kris said he wasn't, either, but my balls were blue half that tour. And Tommy let me do whatever I wanted so long as it was on stage, and everyone thought he was a good sport for doing it, but I was the one kissing him. They could win prizes as cockteases."

Mike felt unaccountably angry at that. He knew about Kris - the whole bus knew about Kris - and he'd seen videos of the stage antics, but he thought Adam was fully on board with all of it. "So why did you let it happen?"

"It started out as fun. They're cute boys, I like flirting and it was all…fun. So when Kris crossed lines, I let him. And Tommy - we had separate buses, I hung out with my dancers and if Tommy never touched me off stage, it was…weird when the fans thought we were dating." Adam laughed. "The fact is, Michael, I'm easy. If I know them and like them, and they're willing to pretend, I'll pretend back. Especially when I don't have a boyfriend of my own."

"You managed to turn me down." It killed him that Adam thought he had to settle for pretend.

"Maybe because it wouldn't be pretend?" Adam stared at the moonlight streaming through his patio doors.

"I…" What could he say? Yes? No?

"And I can't do that, either. I can't be your dirty little secret, and I can't destroy your marriage or your career."

"I…yeah. I don't ever want any of that. I'm sorry. I usually keep better control than that. Can we forget I kissed you?" Mike stared at his own hands.

"What do you want, Michael? Do you know?" Mike felt Adam's large hand on his shoulder.

He turned to look at Adam's face, shining with concern and curiosity. He took a deep breath, unable to lie to those eyes. "Right now, YOU. In any way you want to do it. I know you don't do one night-stands, and I can't and won't promise more than that, cause you're right. You ain't nobody's dirty little secret, and I don't want to lose my wife or my career and them two things don't mix. But it's not pretend cause I don't just want you. If…well, no point in wishing for things to be different. You made an ignorant redneck your friend and you made him a whole lot less ignorant a long the way, I guess. And right now, you're about the most beautiful, most desirable person I ever saw, 'cept my wife. And, maybe, a little bit, I want to take care of you. You always take care of other people, so maybe I can help you." Mike thought that that last part was the truest thing he'd ever said.

Adam smiled in pure delight - and nearly outshone the moon. "That's…not what I'd expected, to be honest. I think that for one night, maybe, I'd…I'd like that." He turned toward Mike, putting a hand on Mike's waist.

"You don't do one night stands." Mike placed his hand on Adam's cheek and stroked it with his thumb. It was rough with stubble, which was oddly exciting.

Adam leaned into his hand. "You're not a stranger, baby. We have a connection and love and, dammit, you're as sexy a bear as I've ever seen. And tonight…please. Anything."

Well, Mike knew Adam rarely lied, and never looked to hurt anyone, so he took the man at his word, and kissed him again. And this time, Adam opened up to him, letting his tongue explore, responding to every move. Adam's lips were full, his beard scratched Mike's face, his hair was soft under Mike's hand and his arms wrapped him fully in a way Tiffany couldn't.

And maybe he shouldn't have thought of Tiffany then, but it was okay because this was Adam and Tiffany would understand. And he pulled Adam closer, pressing Adam's chest to his own, and reached under Adam's sweater to feel the muscles of his back. There was nothing feminine about that body, and that thought made him deepen the kiss, make it raw and dirty. Adam had his hands in Mike's hair now, strands catching in Adam's rings. If only the floor weren't so hard.

"Can we go to your bed? Is it safe? I don't want to do this with you on the floor."

"Oh." Adam bit his lip. "It's safe, yeah. Aftershocks come when they come." He gave Michael a kiss and stood up in one graceful motion, and held out his hand. Michael grabbed it to get to his feet, but kept holding on. Adam smiled.

The moonlight was even brighter a flight up in the bedroom - more than enough for dark-adapted eyes to see well. But Mike wasn't interested in looking at anything but Adam. Between kisses and gropes, they pulled off their clothing and moved the covers to the side of the king-sized bed. Adam reached inside one of the nightstands to take out a bottle and a couple of packets, which he dropped on top. And then he just…stood there, looking at Mike.

Mike took a deep breath, and walked to him, wrapped his arms around him and lowered him to the bed. Adam's eyes were wide and dark, his lips swollen.

Giving those lips another kiss, Mike began to work his way down that long body with his mouth and hands - long, too skinny by half and all male. He nuzzled down the fine, soft chest hairs, rich with Adam's scent - expensive cologne and Adam himself mixed together - before paying attention to Adam's nipples, sucking and biting them just to hear Adam gasp, to feel him grab Mike's hair. He let his fingertips trace long tracks down Adam's sides, feeling soft, smooth skin as Adam wriggled,

And there it was. Adam was hard, his cock jutting up into the moonlight like an erotic sculpture. He was big and gorgeous and Mike had no idea how he was going to do it, but hell, he had a big mouth and he was going to take care of Adam. So he knelt between Adam's legs and took the monster into his mouth.

Adam gasped and clutched at Mike. "Yes, oh, God. Baby…"

Mike used his right hand to take care of the length he couldn't fit in his mouth, using the other to explore Adam's balls and then go lower. Adam drew up his knees and opened his thighs, leaning back to give Mike access to his opening. Mike pulled off Adam's penis. "Are you sure? It might hurt."

"Please. Please. Michael…need this."

Well, if Adam needed it, he'd get it. He got a finger tip inside, but Adam was tight and felt small. Mike realized he'd been granted a rare privilege, and he'd have to be careful. "I'll make it good for you, darlin'. I'm going to take care of you, I promise. Give you what you need."

"I know, baby." He was staggered at the amount of trust in Adam's voice, staggered and honored.

Michael caught his breath and gave one last pull to Adam's cock before reaching for the bottle of lube. He kissed the tip, licking at the drop of bitter fluid. Then he slicked up his finger and began to stroke Adam's hole, gently at first. Adam clutched at his sheets, but kept his knees up and apart, letting Mike do what he wanted. "More. More, please."

"All you want." He concentrated on the task at hand, working at Adam, playing with him until that long body just relaxed around his hand. Only then, with more lube, did he start to work himself in. Adam writhed and opened his legs further. "Feel good?"

"When…when we finish, we're…we're going to…oh…talk, Sarver. Too good." Adam actually laughed a little. "Busted."

"Enjoy it, baby." Mike worked in another finger and keeping them in place, he planted a kiss on Adam's mouth.

"Fuck me already."

Mike, already aroused, just sprung to attention at that, but Adam wasn't going to outstubborn him. He just worked at Adam some more, getting him nice and open. Only when he'd felt Adam close around a third finger did he pull out, slowly as Adam cursed at him. "Taking care of you proper."

He rolled on a condom, and used more lube, then lifted both of Adam's long legs over his shoulders. He pressed into Adam, who opened for him easily, eagerly, and slid inside as slowly as he could.

Adam was tight and hot, and his muscles clenched and unclenched around Mike as he slid further and further, until he was all the way in. Adam's legs slipped down to wrap around Mike's waist, bringing Mike in deeper. Mike took both of Adam's hands, entwining their fingers and using them as leverage to move inside. "Oh, yes, oh, yes, please, please…please, yes…harder, oh…damn, YES!" With whatever brain cells were still functioning, Mike knew he'd hit that sweet spot and aimed for it again. Adam, now beyond words, just screamed - no, sang - one long, gorgeous note. He let go of one hand to take hold of Adam's cock again, still keeping that angle, moving his hand in rhythm with his thrusts.

Keeping tight, tight control over himself, Mike kept going until Adam came, semen spurting between them. Mike got caught in the middle of his own orgasm, but recovered as soon as he could. He eased out, quickly disposed of the condom and found baby wipes to clean them off, but as he did, he could feel Adam shaking in recovery, so he just held him in his arms to gentle him through it all.

To Mike's shock, the tremors didn't go away at all. Adam, in fact, progressed to outright shaking. Mike pulled back enough to see Adam's face - and he was crying. Sobbing. Adam might have cried a time or two, but not like that.

Mike held him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of Adam's head, stroking his back and hair and letting him take his time. Eventually, he quieted down - just in time for the power to return, signaled by all the electronic components suddenly blinking 12:00.

"I'm sorry for…you didn't need to see that. But, Michael, thank you." He kissed Mike's cheek.

"Did I do something wrong, Adam?" He opened his arms to let Adam leave, but Adam just shook his head.

"No, no. It's…I…you…It's good. It's…I felt…you did what you said you'd do. You were…this sounds pathetic. I…you took care of me. It's been so long since anyone offered, since I could let anyone…oh, God. I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby. Was it so bad?"

"Bad?" Adam pulled away to look at him. "It was overwhelmingly good. You made me feel cherished and safe, so I could…I could not be responsible, so I could just BE. That I was safe. That's…I'm usually that person, you know?"

"I know." Mike kissed his forehead. "So I wanted to do that for you."

"You did."

"So, why did you cry?" Mike had to smile but he was still confused.

"Because I didn't know how heavy it all was, how tired I was, how much…oh, God…until it was gone. And because it WAS safe - you're here and I knew…you wouldn't let me fall too far and…thank you."

"It's all waiting for you, though, isn't it?" If Mike could, he'd take some of whatever it was away, but he knew Adam better than that.

"It has to be this way. If I don't keep in control, I'll lose it, and then I'll be at the mercy of other people, and I can't do that. Not any more. But…you barely got anything tonight - let me…" He reached down to Michael's groin. Michael pushed him away.

"I got plenty, but if you want to make it up anyway, do it tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere tonight."

"Good. Because I can't…" And Adam was asleep, nestled against Mike's shoulder. Mike was pretty sleepy himself, so he pulled the covers up over both of them, curled into Adam and drifted off.

When he woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming into the bedroom, Adam was sitting up next to him, his knees up under the covers, his head in his hands. The clocks were still blinking 12:00. "Adam?"

He looked at him, new tears on his face smudging the last of his eyeliner and his hair everywhere but where it should be. "Last night can't happen again. It shouldn't have happened at all. I shouldn't have let it happen."

"It was my choice." Adam let Mike pull him back into his arms with a sigh. "I wanted to do it. You needed it, darlin'."

"It doesn't matter. Mike, if this gets out - we can't take that risk."

"If it does, we'll deal with it. Somehow. Hell, who'd suspect a guy like me would ever get YOU? No one would believe it." He stroked Adam's hair. "I know this won't be a regular thing. I don't think we want that." Adam shook his head against Mike's chest. "But, Adam? If you need this again, find me. Until you find someone real." Mike smiled.

Adam looked up at him. "You're real, Michael. I wish I could keep you."

"We got this morning, baby. Let's use it."

"Okay, but this time I take care of YOU." A wicked grin lit up Adam's face. Mike knew he was in trouble then. But he'd been in trouble since the moment he'd walked into Adam's house, so it was all good times.


End file.
